Good news, bad news

Ashtanga is a good practice for the mind to learn not to dwell too long in any comfort zone - as soon as you get good news on one front, you are bound to hit a major setback on another!

My complete practice starts to seem like a manageable routine, whereas only two weeks ago it was a MAJOR effort to do all of it. That's the good news.

The bad news is that my left knee hurts.

Four hours today

My Teacher had told me to come to his technical class one Sunday, to revise the basics of breathing. That was today, after the nice Sunday morning mysore.

Mysore was fine, I am learning to go a littel faster and I manage to finish the first series and the bits and pieces of second plus the finishing & relaxation in about two hours. And I am less out of breath at the end of my "cake". And, the progress: laying on the pile of mats stretching chest with arms tied above head towards floor (for urdhva dhanurasana) does not feel so much any more. That is a good sign. It used to be pain after 5 seconds!

Technical class was light, but it is still very intense to concentrate on the micro-adjustments of breathing and movements while doing sun salutations. Gets the sweat out quickly again. It was useful, and gave me new things to think about while I do my practice.

So light, so busy

Both today and yesterday were really a reward for all the trouble of Tuesday and having been sick. Practice was almost light, and the best part of it was that I was completely zen afterwards, including my hamstring muscles, which usually are a little shaky after an intense practice. I walked to work and nothing was shaky or hurting.

I felt so light and I thought that maybe I have passed a limit of being weakened and fatigued by the practice and instead gathering new pure light energy. We'll see.

I am terribly busy at work right now, so barely time to write or read blogs.

Whoah, it is coming back

It was nice to taste an even practice period earlier this autumn. Knowing more or less what to expect and then usually getting it.

Today, was the absolute contrast of yesterday; a quite nice solid practice. Really it's been a roller-coaster. Well, what goes up must come down.

Left knee is starting to give trouble: we did something in Sunday's jin class which my knee did not like at all. Must be careful with that.

This practice is beating me up

It is less pleasant to be afraid of the practice, but that's how I felt today.

I hate the feeling of being beaten up by the practice, being weak and tired and out of breath, fighting with your mental self whether to cheat or continue or stop completely. Asking yourself whether this whole thing is finally not meant for you, and that your body just can't take the heat.

Luckily I had planned a very light set for today, and got through it ok, but the fear was there. It's terrible, worse than watching a horror movie (which I don't like to do either). I understand that having been sick makes you physically weak, and puts your mind down, too, but the feeling was real. I also ask myself, whether I have a serious block with the second; every time I decide to go for it, I fall ill (that's twice so far).

Well, learning the no-attachment part; I pictured myself as a gray old wrinkled lady, still doing the primary. It was not a bad image, after all.

Fever

Two days of fever.

First I thought that I had overdone it. Tuesday I did the super-lot up to my bits of the second, plus intensive urdhva dhanurasanas, including some micro adjustments in a lot of positions. Tuesday evening I massaged my whole body with the Japanese miracle box. Hubby told me that was too much.

Wednesday morning I was slow, lazy and tired in the practice. I managed the first series in two (2!) hours, and that's without relaxation. Some slow practice. I found myself staring out of the window between a vinyasa and the asana. I had a lot of micro adjustments, as well, so that explains some of the "staring", you must slow down and stop for a while to really feel and remember the feeling of a slightly different way of doing a asana. Well, Wednesday afternoon I had fever. And yesterday, and today. Plus headache and running nose.

I was seriously thinking whether too much ashtanga and massage together can create fever. Like sometimes you feel this hot burn in the joints after a very intensive practice. Could it be? Could the body be smart enough to have it's way of telling me to calm it down a little before anything more serious happens? Well with the winter coming, colleagues being sick and with the runny nose, it is probably just a normal cold.

A break of two days is making me miss ashtanga practice already. I'll keep my head cold though, and re-start only when there is no more fever. I feel stiff.

Sing along (Velvet Underground) Sunday Morning...

Today I did only sun salutations, since I did the whole lot yesterday (Sunday) and intend to do it tomorrow too (if whoever permits). I'll try to do my whole package now every time except Fridays. We'll see if I can handle it and whether it becomes easier.

Sunday mornings are just like in the Velvet Underground song, sunny, happy, warm and peaceful. I love doing the mysore class at school on Sundays ! There is no hurry, the room is warmer and we can enjoy daylight! And some occasional visitors come, too. That's always fun/interesting.

I don't know why my blog is not showing any more on the Ashtangi.net (it was, at one time), therefore I really don't know to whom I keep writing these little notes. Maybe to myself, to see later on how I thought and with what I struggled at this period of time. Anyways, I enjoy reading other people's blogs.

Building up the stamina

I need to do the intermediate part more often. As it is now, I am completely out of breath and my legs are jelly at the salabhasana B!

At the present, I am practicing four to five times a week, two of these with the intermediate, two to three times I do only primary, Saturdays nothing, and the occasional no-practice morning, just the sun salutations. That seems like a rhythm that I can live with. Clearly, that might well build up the stamina for a longer practice, but very slowly. If I want to be less exhausted in the intermediate, I should do that part more often.

That's one thing I have learnt by doing ashtanga: just by repeating a difficult task (asana) X times, by force of nature, it becomes easier. The more you repeat it, the faster that happens. There is no talent nor tricks involved.

Learn to breath again

In the dhanurasana, when done correctly, the hip-bones and the lowest ribs touch the ground and breathing lifts the chest.

Now, I will have to learn to breath that way also in the urdhva dhanurasana, which is the same but upside down. That is not easy, let me tell you.

Actually, I should learn to breath that way in all my asanas. Well, actually all the time.

What a challenge, this practice of ashtanga yoga!

Very Zen Practice

It is so nice when the practice goes smoothly, nothing hurts or is too tight, and the energy is sufficient and mind is calm. It was a very nice primary series today.

Maybe nothing is too tight because of the massage last Friday and the miraculous Japanese massage machine that I bought last week! It's called Bullman (I think, sorry for the advertising!), and it's a little black box with two handles and "thumbs" that rotate and press you. Very much like a human massage, except that it's always available and you pay only once (a lot more, though...). And it doesn't reply to you when you try to start a discussion.

I don't know if other ashtangis have become as conscious about the condition of their own muscles as I have. I feel the stiffness building up and (sometimes) loosening, and definitely a massage from time to time is very necessary. And it makes a huge difference for the practice. I used to have a baseball to lie on, to smoothen those trigger points in the upper back and in the buttocks, but now my "new best friend" let the baseball retire.

On Sunday, I did also the primary series, despite of the Moon Day. Otherwise I would have had too many days of break.

Going easy today

Yesterday's practice was the full package; the complete primary, 6 first asanas of the intermediate, then urdhva dhanurasanas (I'm at seven now, and its getting easier), and finishing.

It is still quite an effort to do all of that. I wonder if one day I'll call that lot the "easy day"...

Today I did only a quick 45 minute session of sun salutations, beginning of the standing asanas, just the paschimottasanas and my "arms-tied-lying-on-the-pile-of- mats-reaching-down-over-my-head" chest opening thing, and just the shoulderstand, headstand, and padmasana to finish. I felt nice and relaxed afterwards, not sweaty and shaky as usually after the pratice.

Worrying about intermediate series

Today was another fun try for the sitting-up-supta kurmasana, which is actually called dwi pada sirsasana in the intermediate series! Luckily the Teacher is not too tight about keeping it in the primary series.... it's fun to do something different, and just to ask is enough to get that fun!

I did up to parsva dhanurasana again (my max dose right now), and during all of the asanas of the second, I was completely out of breath and tired. I wonder why: in the primary series, I have learnt to take it cool, trying to stay zen, and after an intense moment, regain my peace quite quickly. Maybe I am just so excited about being in the second series!

After the class I discussed a little bit with the Teacher on the subject: how on earth can people do the whole first and then build up the second and still have energy and time for a "normal life" ?! That is really bothering me. Do I expect that I gain so much strength and speed that one day I'll do both of them with the same amount of energy and time that I do the primary now? Do I skip something in the primary, once I am further along in the intermediate? I guess time will tell. I still remember how the beginners' load (up to navasana) seemed A LOT in the beginning...