Tired, sore and a little bit depressed, but it will go away, as usual

For today I had planned just a short practice, just the standing asanas and then finishing poses. That's what I did.

I spent an extra five minutes in a deep paschimottasana and then instead of doing urdhva danurasana , laid on my back on a pile of mats with my hands on the ground for about another five minutes. That was powerful and intense for the seriously-stuck-shoulders and shoulderblades! I had hard time getting away from the pile of mats.

Fridays' self-practice seem to have become the "do whatever you feel like" practice (the Teacher not seeing!). Which is kind of fun, and I am sure it does good, too. For the sore joints and for the tired mind.

Tired or not tired, that's the question

It is funny how tired I was today. All the way until kurmasana I was definitely tired, and I kept telling myself "I'll stop to navasana" and I even got tears in my eyes by just thinking of a stupid little thing of yesterday, and the practice was a little bit whatever, and my mind was wondering and I told myself that this is just one of those days when you don't want the Teacher to bother you at all, just to let you finish and have it done as soon as possible. Then suddenly, the practice was nice, and hop, the first series ended and I even did the pasasana again... Did I suddenly forget how tired I was, or did I get new energy from somewhere?

Other people have funny blogs

I checked some blogs on the ashtangi.net, and there are really funny-ones. I am almost jealous to Laksmi (Yoga Squirrel Cage) for example. She is so funny and so self-mocking and so bad! No wonder she has (at least) three readers!

My practice today was again a more-or-less solid routine primary. I did do the pasasana again, but stopped there. I went up to ustrasana last spring, but then had a slight burnout at work and had to step back. Doing navasana was too hard! That was a good lesson in learning to give up... and re-build back slowly. Last spring's visiting teachers were also a good re-building: they broke the sun salutations and the whole first series into little pieces and some of my friends who did second series faaaar, didn't for several months. Now work is quiet and I can do more yoga, but I wonder if I ever will have the strenght to continue far to the second. The hardest part would be when doing both of them, a period of double practice. Maybe I should then take a sabbatical leave of 6 months?

I am trying to keep samastiti in the sitting poses. To keep my sitting bones to the ground, to return the balance, no matter what the legs are doing... Learnt a nice new funny detail in Baddha Konasana to twist the calfs and shinbones towards the floor, and hop, the feet follow and open up.

Just another burden?

Today's practice was smooth and light. Wonderful, actually.

I wasn't sweating like a fountain and I wasn't out of breath. Maybe I tried to do it a little bit more lightly, after a 4 day's break. Maybe my friend next to me helped to make it easy. Doing lightly and not "trying too hard" every time would do good for my personality.

But: I didn't feel like reporting the practice on this blog today. In order not to make blogging just another burden, I'll write only whenever I feel I have something to say.

The world's most boring ashtanga practice diary

This is the most boring practice diary:

Friday - no practice
Saturday - no practice
Sunday - sun salutations only
Monday - sun salutations only

Well, just to say something: I am happy not to be one of those dry-boned, starving-looking ashtanga maniacs who think they will die if they miss two days of practice.... After tomorrow's practice I am likely to be sore again.

Oooh, the Hubby found it !

My blog is no longer anonyme! The "too-clever" husband googled a little and found it. I wonder if knowing that he may read these will change the way I'll write. I guess not - I'll try not.

Today's practice was a solid, good practice, although my back muscles were sore from yesterday. Usually I am sore from the thighs, so I guess this is progress.

We discussed a little with the Teacher how the process of advancing/ understanding is actually two aligned processes, one with the body: mechanically opening up the joints and bones and strengthening the muscles, and the other process is in the mind; understanding where to aim and how. These two are like waves, one is on top for a period and then it's the turn of the other. And they only happen by doing, doing and doing (and a little bit of thinking and discussing).

I am lucky to have a very good Teacher. One that "helps but does not disturb".

My upper back is banging !

Something is happening between my shoulder blades. Every time I round my shoulders, there is plenty of banging and other noices showing that there are things going on. That's good. Still a lot of work to do, however, for the urdhva dhanurasana.

I received a message yesterday to call someone, and I only heard it early this morning. I was worried that it was bad news (related to my father). Wouldn't call family at six in the morning, so I just had to take it cool and do my practice. I told myself that whatever it is, I'll call back after the practice. Although I almost buried my father during the salutations, or at least held his hand at his deathbed, I managed to calm down and do a fairly reasonnable practice. Finally there was nothing wrong with anybody, it was about apple juice! The practice is a really good method to forget the worries, it worked fine today.

Mysore style practice is very demanding. Even when you have learnt by heart what you are supposed to do. If I am alone, I tend to feel this enormous "fatigue" and I am tempted to cheat. Sometimes I just let myself do less, but to know the difference between lazyness and real need for an easier practice is not easy.

Thoughts in the blog while counting to five...

Today my thoughts were in the blog while I was doing the sitting poses. Funny how planning to "report" something changes that something. Are some people out there actually living and doing things just to report them on their blogs?!

I was slowing down again from Guruji's led primary series, which was quite rapid. It's ok, but I'll try to make it quick at least once a week. The good part of a quick series is that you don't have time to think how tired you may be, or other similar useless thoughts. The good part of going slowly is to have time to feel the position in different parts of the body and to analyse what little changes bring into it. It is, after all, a very analytical and intellectual excercise. And going slowly is NOT making it any easier!

Now I am fighting with my stiff upper back (a whole career in front of a computer!) and trying to let it coil. I coil now anyplace anytime: I may sit in the toilet and lift my chest up, trusting that nobody sees me. The hamstring of right leg was ok today, I stay in the kurmasana until the pulling goes away. Some days I just can't stay there with straight legs.

My first blog-day

Hi you'all ! I wonder if there is anyone out there who'd see my brand-new blog by accident.

I decided to just write down my ashtanga experiences, and nothing more, just to clarify my thoughts and experiences, put down what I learn and feel during and outside the practice. I will not tell to my blog (or you guys out there - if there are any) about my personal life, my family, my cat or my job, not even of my country, since I do wish to stay anonyme.

Today I did just a brief practice, up to Triang Mukha Eka Pada Paschimottanasana (what a name, I'll never learn that one!). I try to save my energy to the other days of the week, as well. I do other stuff than ashtanga as well, so I don't practice six days a week. I think about it seven days a week, anyway. Some days it is really nice to do just the sun salutations. And it is funny how stiff one can be during the first one of them...